I don’t know about you, but I love designer handbags. Coach fits perfectly into my lifestyle. It’s not a total budget buster to buy Coach bags, especially if you get them at the Outlet Malls. Don’t let my husband know this, but I’m growing tired of buying Coach handbags. To alleviate my designer “pain” I decided to branch out. After a good friend bought me a Coach necklace, I wanted to add to my collection. I spent countless hours at the store trying on bracelets rings, looking at other accessories [i.e. shoes and hats]. Well, as it turns out, I can’t even get my hand through the bangle bracelets. The rings only go up to size 8, and I wear a 9. Forget about the hats, I have an unusually large [unfeminine] head. It’s invisible to the naked eye, but get me anywhere near a hat and then it’s blatantly obvious. Their shoes only come in “B” width so that leaves my Fred Flinstone type feet out of luck. I’ve concluded that it is a huge Coach conspiracy against those of us with large wrists, fingers, heads and double wide feet. I will grudgingly go back to purchasing handbags, wristlets and various other keychains and scarves to alleviate my urge to cry out “Coach Conspiracy” whenever I frequent their store.
Bra-zarre June 9, 2008
I’m sure one day my daughter will look back on this and say “Mom, why did you blog about that?” It doesn’t seem like I have a teenager. First, I’m not old enough [right?]. Second, she was just born yesterday [where does all the time go?] So I find myself bra shopping today with my daughter who was just a toddler two seconds ago. I’m amazed at how quickly the time goes. Having worn a bra myself for about the last 25 years, it’s all about comfort for me. It’s refreshing to have a teen perspective on undergarments. It’s all about the cute factor. When you are changing clothes for P.E. daily it would horrifying for someone to see you in a basic black or beige bra, right? So it’s all about the colored stripes and zebra prints for her. This cracks me up. I don’t remember my mom taking me bra shopping. I’m sure it happened because I didn’t have cash or a car at 11, so someone had to drive me. Anyway, now I am feeling extremely old, because I have a daughter that is beyond the training bra stage. On that note, I’m off to exfoliate and moisturize. Looks like I might have to double up on the beauty sleep too.
Children should be seen and not heard? May 22, 2008
Why is it that I attract the crazy people? Since I can remember people have opened up to me about their troubles, worries, relationship issues and random health ailments. You name it, I’ve heard about it. There are some times when I go out and although I’m not looking for trouble, trouble comes looking for me. I was at the grocery store [with all three kids], minding my own business. I stop the cart between the dairy section and the frozen garlic bread section. I did this so I could grab the eggs without pushing the cart the extra 10 or so that I had to go. I know it sounds lazy but this is the choice I made. The closer I came to the eggs the louder my son spoke [yelled]. It wasn’t a bad yell, it was more like an excited exclamation that I am his mommy and he is proud. He was simply saying the word “mommy” repeatedly with a smile on his face and a song in his heart [smiles]. It didn’t last for more than 20-30 seconds and I was back to the cart. As I approached the cart I noticed a lady draw closer to me and my 3 children. I wrongly assumed that she was going to go on about how precious my little angels were and reassure me that the hard work was worth it. Boy, was I wrong. She leaned in closer towards my son and put her pointer finger up to her mouth, puckered her lips and let out the biggest “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I had ever heard. Once again I assumed that she was joking with him or trying to be cute. Well, I’m not one to leave well enough alone, so I politely ask her “Were you just telling my son to be quiet”? She looked at me with the most serious face and said loudly “Yes! Children should be seen and not heard!” In my head I’m thinking–oh, no she didn’t!!!! Knowing full well she did…I looked at her with, I am mother hear me roar conviction, and said–”Don’t you tell my son what to do. He is having fun saying ‘mommy’ and he can talk as much as he wants, as loud as he wants, whenever and wherever he wants!” She didn’t like that one little bit. As we walked away with the speed of a snail I egged my son on to keep saying “mommy” in his previously excited tone. He was quite young at the time and conveniently played along. I know this enraged her, but I felt justified, having just been confronted by her. She proceeded to stalk us through the grocery store and just when I’d thought we escaped her evil stare–she walked past us at the check out stand. She started to get in line behind me and I said in my best loud mommy voice “walk away sister, walk away”. She got in line right next to me and started in on me AGAIN. Would this woman ever stop? Would she keep at it until I had removed every item from my cart, slid my debit card and punched in my secret password? Why can’t I find peace at the grocery store. I guess I had forgotten to put it on my list. As she began to speak to me again, it was all I could do to not physically hurt her [I don't normally consider myself a very violent person]. She said “my grandchildren would never act like that in public, they know their place” I quickly retorted, “Wow, sounds like you’re a barrel of laughs”. It was then my turn to check out and we luckily had several hundred packs of gum, candy, magazines and other impulse shopping temptations between us so that I didn’t have to endure anymore badgering. After checking out and getting to my car, I tried to find my happy place. I’m thinking maybe this lady should rethink her theory—I think grandma’s who shush little kids in public places for being happy about their mommies–should be seen and not heard!!
Clean up on aisle 3 May 10, 2008
Nobody ever said raising kids was easy and if they did, they’d be wrong. It is definitely a daily adventure. I have taken on many occupations since becoming a mother–short order cook, professional laundry cleaner, master gardener, certified professional volunteer, medical doctor [assessing everything from ringworm to head lice], teacher of all subjects [including the birds and the bees], chauffeur, seamstress, handyman(woman) and last but certainly not least, diversity training expert.
On an ordinary day in my extraordinary life, while shopping with my toddler daughter, she decides to learn one of life’s great lessons. It started out like any other visit to a store…Mommy can I buy a toy? Mommy are you almost done? Mommy, how long are we going to be here? Mommy, I think I have to tinkle!!! I have learned to shop with precision–get in, get out. My daughter saw another little person like herself. She pointed, smiled and then loudly proclaimed, “MOMMY, I WANT A TAN JUST LIKE THAT LITTLE BOY! Why is he brown? MOMMY, I WANT A TAN TOO!!!!!” I didn’t know whether to laugh or crawl in a hole. It was embarrassing, but understandable [at least for her age]. The little boy’s mother laughed and reassured me with her smile. I simply explained to her that we are all gifts from God and He chose to wrap us all in different wrapping paper. Of course that led to, “why isn’t mine purple, mommy? I want purple wrapping paper.” Well, it was worth a shot.
Goodwill Hunting April 9, 2008
I’m a bargain shopper, except when it comes to Designer Handbags [namely Coach and Louis Vuitton--there are some things that are just worth it.] I quite fancy a trip to the local Goodwill. On one such occasion, I was looking for books with my kids. There’s nothing like paying $.50 for a book that looks like it’s never been touched. I am standing back-to-back with a lady who was probably in her late 50’s early 60’s. I didn’t so much notice her as I did SMELL her. Seriously, I would admit it, if it had been me—but it so wasn’t. My daughter and I at this point couldn’t resist a giggle [or two]. She emitted what I call a silent, but deadly gas. [We were in shock and awe alright]. It was like a scene out of a war movie. I’m yelling to my daughter “man down, man down” as we jump into the fox hole [a.k.a. kid fiction aisle at Goodwill]. Either she was totally unaware of her gas passage or she simply doesn’t care about global warming and reducing emissions. Either way, next time I go to Goodwill, I’ll be sure and wear protective gear.
Give it to me—FREE! March 9, 2008
Grocery shopping is not my favorite pastime , but I don’t mind making the occasional [meaning=daily] trip. With a husband and a house full of kids, someone always needs something. The grocery store has tried to accommodate us and provided a bribing tool for the kids. They have generously offered up FREE COOKIES! I wish this concept would catch on. The grocery store sells food [mostly] and what do they give away? FREE FOOD. Imagine if this started happening in your favorite stores. And not just microscopic bottles and packages of perfume or foundation, but full-size samples. I’m talking full-size product samples [that you can list on Ebay or Craigslist if cash is tight]. Sure they could serve them with a snack, but the sample is the priority here. Focus.
What if, while your at the COACH store perusing the fantastic leather bags and the delicious suede mixed with C’d out fabric, they handed out key chains and purse charms? Free samples, not for purchasing a product, but for just gracing them with your presence. I don’t know about you, but I’d shop more often. Perhaps you aren’t the COACH type and you prefer electronics, so you go to the Apple store. Upon arriving you are greeted with a bottled water, trail mix and a FREE ipod shuffle!! Who knows this concept could catch on. So call your congressman, alert the media–it’s time for a retail movement. Ok. It was just a thought. You can’t blame me for trying. If we can’t reduce the cost of gasoline and milk is at almost $5 a gallon what’s a girl to do? I know one thing, I need more than free cookies. C’mon COACH, Apple, and all you other high profit overpriced stores–momma needs some free product!
Hello my name is…I’m a discount addict January 15, 2008
With the price of groceries lately it’s no wonder I’m excited about the bread outlet nearby. Even before the extreme energy crisis I was quite a fan. Where else can you go and find a store dedicated to the carb cause? There is not a stitch of protein in that store-a carb addicts dream. So instead of paying $3+ for a loaf of bread I can get it for $.89! I’m just ignoring the fact that I drive 10 minutes out of my way to save the $2, and the fact that I’m driving a [paid for] gas guzzler to get to said store. I’m probably breaking even, but I love my [paid for] truck and wouldn’t trade that [paid for] truck for anything. Did I mention it was paid for? I haven’t told you the best thing about this place! Not only do you save around $2 per loaf, but they give you a free loaf for every $5 you spend. I may burn a lot of fuel or run out of milk, eggs and cheese. But I will always have TOAST!
