I love the movies! I enjoy the escape from my own reality. It’s 90-120 minutes when my thoughts related to my own drama disapper and I am involved with a random selection of fictitious characters. Not every movie is Oscar-worthy or even well-written. But as long as they entertain me and move me to emote some form of emotion, such as laughter or tears I am satisfied.
Do you ever have one of those days where you really need or want to escape. You plan it down to the last detail. You’ll escape just after dinner while the husband puts the kids to bed. You grab your Starbucks water bottle and See’s Candy chocolate sucker and a pack of sugar free gum and you are good to go. You are accompanied in the get away car by 3 of your fab friends who from here on out will be referred to as Delilah, Kitty and Penelope. Penelope picked the movie [bless her heart], Kitty drove and Delilah accompanied her in the front seat. We proceed to decompress on the way to the theatre by venting our frustrations about life, liberty and the pursuit of a blissful marriage. We quickly decided that a movie was a perfect Rx for us in our current state of Desperate-Housewife-ness. Like any good Northwest inhabitant we stop at Starbucks for a pre-movie caffeine jolt. Penelope, Kitty and Delilah all order delicious mocha-frappa-cappacino concoctions and I get a refill on my water. Then we proceed to the movie theatre while discussing the current state of skincare and how best to treat troubled skin. [side note: You know you're getting old when you start tagging along to the dermatologist with your teenager due to adult onset acne brought on by peri-menopausal symptoms---OH HAPPY DAY]
We make it safely to the theatre where we find ourselves with endless options for seating. There weren’t many people in the theatre. Hello! Red Flag!
I’m not sure how to describe what happened next…This movie was a complete waste of time. Except, of course, for the fact that I haven’t laughed like that in years. The movies was so outlandishly insane and random that you couldn’t help but laugh. I hadn’t watched any trailers for the movie, but assumed that Anne Hathaway was Rachel. Well, I was wrong. Her sister was Rachel and Anne played Kym. Kym was let out of rehab for a weekend to attend the wedding of her sister. Her sisters wedding was more like a cult following. They were a group of people who seemingly worshipped drug taking and tree hugging. They chanted the bride and grooms name in unison in order to form some realm of ultra-love. The movie was filled with emotion, F-bombs and Kym’s random sex with a virtual stranger. She was also apparrently impersonating Puff-The Magic Dragon because she did not stop smoking. She was determined to make the entire wedding weekend about herself and not her sister. She attended NA [narcotics anonymous] meetings during the film only to reveal that she accidentally killed her baby brother while babysitting him under the influence. To say this movie was a downer would be an understatement. To say it was a waste of money would be a waste of my keyboard to actually type the letters. To say it was the worst movie I’ve seen wouldn’t be fair because trust me The Wicker Man with Nicolas Cage was by far the worst or the movie SAW. Just to be generous, I will call it a 3 way tie. I would like to say that it all wrapped up quite nicely at the end, but it didn’t not for me. Although I was glad to see it end, I wanted more out of a film that took $10 from me and gave me nothing but affirmation that REALITY BITES!
