I don’t know about you, but I love designer handbags. Coach fits perfectly into my lifestyle. It’s not a total budget buster to buy Coach bags, especially if you get them at the Outlet Malls. Don’t let my husband know this, but I’m growing tired of buying Coach handbags. To alleviate my designer “pain” I decided to branch out. After a good friend bought me a Coach necklace, I wanted to add to my collection. I spent countless hours at the store trying on bracelets rings, looking at other accessories [i.e. shoes and hats]. Well, as it turns out, I can’t even get my hand through the bangle bracelets. The rings only go up to size 8, and I wear a 9. Forget about the hats, I have an unusually large [unfeminine] head. It’s invisible to the naked eye, but get me anywhere near a hat and then it’s blatantly obvious. Their shoes only come in “B” width so that leaves my Fred Flinstone type feet out of luck. I’ve concluded that it is a huge Coach conspiracy against those of us with large wrists, fingers, heads and double wide feet. I will grudgingly go back to purchasing handbags, wristlets and various other keychains and scarves to alleviate my urge to cry out “Coach Conspiracy” whenever I frequent their store.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall May 16, 2008
Sometimes I think that I’m the only one that looks in the mirror before leaving the house in the morning. Seriously, how long does it actually take? I’m probably a little more cautious than the average bear when giving myself the once over. Especially when I am going to the gym. [With all the lycra you want to make sure you don't look like you should be in the "scratch and dent" section at the store.] I haven’t been the same since I split the crotch on my yoga pants at the gym and had to wrap a jacket around the lower half of my body just to get a new pair of pants that cost twice as much as the Victoria’s Secret foldover yoga pants [that I completely LOVE!!!!] So now with every squat, lunge or spin class I fear that I will be baring all to the world. So I said all that to say, look in the mirror people. If all you can see is pantie lines and muffin top…go back inside and choose a more appropriate outfit or undergarments. And if you decide to go in public wearing nothing but a t-shirt with a sheer skirt and a thong–do all of us a favor and don’t bend over to pick up the pacifier your child dropped. I’ve seen more thongs [whale tales] over the years than I care to recount. I’m all for them, but I don’t want to see them. Even Victoria knows that it’s supposed to be a secret. [Which begs the question why do all the mannequins have to be dressed so provocatively?!?!? ] Whatever happened to the good ol’ 80’s when jeans actually covered your bottom and shirts weren’t painted on [so you could see every crease and fold]. It’s time for a change. I don’t want to go to the grocery store on a Fruit Loop run just to have another thong sighting. So to all you thong wearing peeps out there–keep it in your pants.
Give it to me—FREE! March 9, 2008
Grocery shopping is not my favorite pastime , but I don’t mind making the occasional [meaning=daily] trip. With a husband and a house full of kids, someone always needs something. The grocery store has tried to accommodate us and provided a bribing tool for the kids. They have generously offered up FREE COOKIES! I wish this concept would catch on. The grocery store sells food [mostly] and what do they give away? FREE FOOD. Imagine if this started happening in your favorite stores. And not just microscopic bottles and packages of perfume or foundation, but full-size samples. I’m talking full-size product samples [that you can list on Ebay or Craigslist if cash is tight]. Sure they could serve them with a snack, but the sample is the priority here. Focus.
What if, while your at the COACH store perusing the fantastic leather bags and the delicious suede mixed with C’d out fabric, they handed out key chains and purse charms? Free samples, not for purchasing a product, but for just gracing them with your presence. I don’t know about you, but I’d shop more often. Perhaps you aren’t the COACH type and you prefer electronics, so you go to the Apple store. Upon arriving you are greeted with a bottled water, trail mix and a FREE ipod shuffle!! Who knows this concept could catch on. So call your congressman, alert the media–it’s time for a retail movement. Ok. It was just a thought. You can’t blame me for trying. If we can’t reduce the cost of gasoline and milk is at almost $5 a gallon what’s a girl to do? I know one thing, I need more than free cookies. C’mon COACH, Apple, and all you other high profit overpriced stores–momma needs some free product!
