I’d like to think I’m pretty steady on my feet. My feet have supplied me with great balance for 30+ years and I have come to rely on them. They have, however, become wider and flatter since having kids, thus the custom orthotic inserts. Add to that my complete fear of falling, fear of heights and anything more exciting then stepping off a curb and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Occasionally, I will be shopping in a mall and walk past a railing on the 2nd floor. I suddenly see myself being thrown over the railing and falling to my death or at least severe injury. Some of you may read that and think, Okay FREAK! Well, I admittedly call myself a freak, but I’m a safety freak not a run-of-the-mill lock your doors and hide your valuables FREAK. You may look at a situation and see fun, excitement or exhilaration. I see impending danger and accidental dismemberment. I’m not exactly sure what all contributed to my safety freakishness but I did suffer from extreme trauma as a child. My dad took me on the JUDGE ROY SCREAM rollercoaster after I begged him not to make me. I had snot and tears dripping from my face, I was practically hyperventilating and he still took me. I never quite recoverd from that fearful experience and it took me 20 years before I would even consider riding another rollercoaster. I have relaxed over the years and having 3 kids definitely helps because you can’t control everything all the time. I do remind them of the simple pleasures of life, like wearing a helmet while riding your bike, looking both ways before crossing the street and the most important—don’t share hair brushes or hats or I will shave your hair off if you come home with lice!
Now we’ve come to the meat of the story where all the “safety first” tips in the world wouldn’t have saved me from my impending doom. I was at my son’s basketball clinic where for almost 2 hours around 30 boys run wild and practice a variety of basketball skills. By the way, they’re 7, so you can imagine the amount of energy bouncing around the room. The facility is huge and they have an upstairs area for the parents to sit and watch their children and/or socialize with the other parents. The seats are screwed into the ground and set up on about a 4 inch platform to make it easier to see over the railing. On the railing in front of every other seat there are signs that say “Watch your step. There is a small step behind you” I looked up and down the row of seats and took notice of the vast quantity of signs asking us to watch our step. As if we were the clumsiest set of people know to walk the face of the earth. I laughed out loud and thought, wow they must think we are all just going to simultaneously fall off this tiny 4 inch step and break something. As they say [and I happen to agree], everything happens for a reason. So somewhere out there God was trying to tell me, “Hey! You! Read the sign! Pay attention! It could happen to you!” I stood up near the end of the training session, thinking I would grab a quick snack from the vending machine for my son and then we’d be on our way. I reached into my purse and grabbed my wallet and turned without thinking of the 4 inch drop I would be encountering. The next thing I knew I was doing a face plant on the ground with my legs splayed in opposite directions and my dignity laying there on the floor completely spent. It was a hard fall, not a slip. It was a complete collapsing of my limbs not a simple trip. It was without a doubt, THE THUD HEARD ROUND THE WOLRD! I stood up completely stunned and embarrassed and did the walk of shame all the way to the vending machine. Let this be a lesson to all of you—READ THE SIGNS and FOLLOW THEM!
