Just when you thought it was safe to breastfeed your child in the bathroom…
I’m not sure if you are familiar with The Galleria mall in Dallas, but growing up in that area I visited on many occasions. It’s a wonderful mall that, at least when I used to run around there, catered to a more spendy crowd. Sure there was the gratuitous Gap store and some other teeny-bopper stores but the crowd was a little more upscale. With that in mind I thought I was safe. Little did I know I’d be approached by a crazy on what would become, perhaps one of the most bizarre experiences in my life. My daughter is getting a little fussy and I know it’s time for her to eat. I can’t find a decent place to sit where I won’t be ogled by the passers by so I head to the hotel attached to The Galleria. In the lobby there are a multitude of places to sit but they are unfortunately all occupied. Many of the seats were taken by smokers. [Back then it was acceptable for smokers to do as they please inside or outside of any public place.] I end up going to the location which was initially meant to be a backup plan, but more often then not became THE place for me. Yes, it was indeed the restroom [bathroom, john, lavatory, powder room, loo, water closet, el baño]. Well, you get the picture. Luckily, there was a chair in the restroom [seated directly in front of a large mirror]. I pushed the chair back away from the mirror and settled in for a relaxing feed. While minding my own business a lady enters the restroom. I don’t feel like engaging in conversation, so I remain focused on my child. She stopped and stared, as if to say circus freak–how much for a ticket, and felt the need to comment. She looked at me with all seriousness and said “Why are you doing that in here?” I responded honestly saying, “All the good seats were taken outside and my baby was hungry”. Hoping this would satisfy her curiosity I resumed my focus on the task at hand. [Slightly put off by her boldness I blushed and hoped she would walk away]. She resumed her conversation [more like monologue] and proceeded to tell me that I should be proud to feed my baby in public and excitedly told me to “go out there and breastfeed for all to see”. My initial blushing turned in to a full-on hot flash as I hurriedly agreed and assured her that I was proud of my lactating breasts. Truthfully, I just wanted her to hit the stall and finish her business and leave me the heck alone. She proudly walked to an open stall and went about her business. When she came out, I was a little taken aback that she neglected to become fully dressed before reentering what I considered to be my safe zone. [no person should walk around in their birthday suit in any public restroom and yes, in my mind that includes the gym/rec center/spa]. I hadn’t noticed that she was wearing a 1970’s one piece jumpsuit until she came out of the stall. She walked toward me in what seemed to be slow motion. Her perky breasts [at least a EE cup] stood at attention as she got within a couple of feet of me. As she stood there in all her glory, she proudly announced that she had breastfed all 5 of her children and commanded that I look at her and her bosom. She was searching for an affirmation that her “girls” were beautifully formed. Not knowing exactly how to react, I suddenly became the Stuart Smalley of Saturday Night Live fame and said to her “They’re big enough, they’re perky enough and doggone it, I like them”! As quickly as it began, it ended. She concealed her ample bosom back within her jump suit and quickly washed her hands and left. I wonder whatever happened to that woman. Did she go on flashing others in bathrooms across the state? Or did she go back to Hooterville to waste away?
